In my devotions, I'm going through the Psalms again. A couple days ago I read Psalm 68, and that passage has stuck with me throughout the week. My favorite (hence the title of this blog) is from verses 5 & 6. It reads: "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing." This verse hit me SO hard - especially because this is what I'm dealing with here in the Philippines. I've learned, as I've mentioned before, that I feel like God has shown me what my purpose here is. I'm not here to simply get a few credits and get some teaching experience under my belt. I'm here to love. I'm here to love in a way that I've never been able to love anyone before. These kids that I'm interacting with, whether they be kids that live on the streets, kids who live in an orphanage, or kids that go to a middle/upper class school, THESE KIDS are why I'm here. Loving on these kids is why I'm here.
I know I'm repeating myself, but the street children absolutely break my heart. Anytime you leave the gate for any reason, you suddenly have at least 2 kids hanging on you, pleading for attention. Their families could care less where they are at that moment, and they certainly don't get shown love as much as they should. Although I'm only here for another week and a half, I just have to trust that God will continue to bring people into their lives to continue loving on them.
The kids in the orphanage are a whole different story. Some of them constantly talk about how their parents are going to come back and get them...when in reality they won't. It breaks my heart that once children hit about age 10 or so and lose that "cute" factor, they just have to accept the reality that they won't get adopted. The kids there are just so hopeful and have so much joy...to think about all of the pain that they've gone through kills me. They're so used to having people come and go so frequently...I can't even imagine living like that. I'm so glad that they have the people who work there all the time so that they have at least a little bit of consistency.
My kids at school come from the middle or upper classes, which is the complete opposite of the street kids and kids in the orphanage. But at the same time, they have their own struggles. Whenever I praise any of my kids, their faces absolutely light up. Even the teachers don't really praise the kids all that much...at least not as much as we're taught to in the states. So that's my goal with my classroom. Even if I may not get to teach them as much as I would like, I can still love on them as much as I possibly can.
It's still hard to be exhausted all the time, and I'm still missing home. But it's getting easier knowing that I have an absolutely incredible group of people on this trip with me, and that the kids here need me. I'm learning a lot about selflessness and being humble...and I've also learned to trust God more than I ever have. He's got this whole trip under control, even though all sorts of curveballs have been thrown at us.
I appreciate your prayers SO much, and I miss and love you all very much!
~Kristen
"But just as he who called you is holy, be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.'" (1 Peter 1:15-16)
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